I love getting a question that my immediate reaction to is probably not what the asker is expecting. This one is my favorite Quora questions to date…
First, an explanation for those who don’t know where the term ‘ghosting’ comes from. (Don’t feel bad, I didn’t know what it was till way after I was widowed and spent a couple of weeks on dating sites…they explain a lot of what’s weird in this century.) It’s used when you’re dating someone and they suddenly disappear on you without a word. Or email. Or text.
So, should you ghost someone? That’s up to you, but let me ask you my question first. If someone – date, friend, employer, business partner, whatever – has disappointed you in some way (and you can use this to mean anything from not reading your mind to being an abusive m*f*) – why would you not want to be heard out? After all, you will probably tell the story to a lot of people. Why wouldn’t you want to speak your mind to the miscreant?
I’ll give you that it might be a little more difficult to speak up to the boss, especially if boss is very powerful. But so are you. Don’t you want to max your power? You have a voice and by using it, you will exercise it and make it stronger. Ghosting is running away. It’s wimpish behavior and it’s easy enough to document, especially in the workplace.
We are living in a time when it is easy to find exemplars of people who stand up and don’t wimp out. Think Nancy Pelosi! Think Ruth Bader Ginsburg!! Think Sojourner Truth!!! Think… ummm… I’m trying to think of a man to get a little diversity here, but nothing’s resonating at the moment. I’m sure someone can put one here, but maybe my brain is telling me that not ghosting, but speaking up, is what levels the playing field in the power game.