How to Trash a Sales Hire in Five Easy Lessons

Blowing up a new sales recruit isn’t hard to do, if you know how. From what I hear from my professional sales buddies, there’s a lot of it going around! Here’s the formula:

  1. Hire the right person and then put them in the wrong job. This will work best if your job posting bears little or no relationship to the human interaction the recruit will actually encounter on the job.
  2. Be careful to assign new hires to rigid sales managers who have a knack for crushing any excitement or enthusiasm that may have lingered on after the onboarding pep-talk. This tactic will firmly establish low employee engagement before it ever impacts your retention metrics.
  3. If, by chance, you have managed to hire people who actually get along well with each other, install a convoluted compensation scheme that will set people at odds with each other. Remember, it’s much easier for you to rule your domain if the environment is ‘everyone for him/herself’.
  4. If you observe sales support people who appear to be providing a ‘home base’ for the sales team, and making their lives easier, take corrective action immediately! Experience has shown that it’s highly motivating for sales people to obsess about minor details every sleepless night. Why, what would happen if the whole department were suddenly to start expecting other people to ‘cover’ for their weaker points?
  5. Select your performance assessment system carefully. It should address every possible detail of every position, thereby providing numerous points of information that can be used, as needed, for blaming, shaming, or defaming.

If anything above this line sounded like a good idea to you, stop reading now. You’re all set. However, if you really want to implement change for the better, and you are a sales manager (or business owner), you’ll have to wait for my next post…

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